Once a couple has kids, they tend to pour everything to them, leaving the spouse feel neglected at times. You think your wife is okay with being the last priority since she loves the kids immeasurably, and she would probably tell you’re doing great. However, she does not know she needs your love and attention more because eventually, she will feel worthless and that no one thinks about her.
As much as it is admirable to love the kids and make them a priority, you must put your wife first before them. It could be somewhat odd as you both know the welfare of the kids is your first concern, but you have to do it.
Here Are The 5 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Put Your Wife Before The Kids:
You did not choose your parents nor your kids. The only person you chose to spend the rest of your life is your wife. You must uphold your vow when you married her – to take care of her… until death.” Making her feel loved and worthy is vital to her mental health. She is naturally sensitive, and she may not know it, but your attention is what she needs the most.
The only way to make sure that you both fulfill your duties to your family is to feel great about your marriage. The kids will notice that you or your wife is unhappy, and this is not emotionally healthy for them. There’s also a big chance that you or your wife will feel irritable all the time, and that is not taking care of the kids or anyone for that matter.
She may say otherwise, but she needs your love and attention badly. Yes, she loves the kids to the moon and back, but the reason why she gets exhausted eventually is because no one takes care of her. If anyone in the family gets sick, your wife is the nurse, but who takes care of her when she’s sick? She would probably feel worthless and unloved, and this is harmful to her health.
You are the two people whom your children get their values from, and wherever they go, they will always behave based on how they learned at home. Making your wife a priority and taking care of her will make them realize what husbands should be doing. For your son, he will learn how to treat his future wife, and for your daughter, she will know a woman’s worth.
When the kids are all grown up, it will be just you and your wife, and your happiness will depend on the memories you made. Give her reasons to smile and be happy even more. Besides, you would very much prefer if she’d be thanking you all the time for how you made her feel loved than to hear her complain how worthless she felt throughout your marriage.
If you think parenting is hard, marriage is a lot difficult. Being a parent is an instinct, and kids are easy to understand, but when it comes to your spouse, it is much more complicated. It may not seem it, but the mother of your children need the most love from you because she is the one who needs to give more to the family.
Being a hands-on father and the sole provider in the family can make a man’s life challenging. In the office, you feel the need to give your 110% in any project because doing so guarantees job retention or promotion. You cannot slack off for eight hours straight almost every day. Even during break time, you might think of how to complete your task efficiently so that you don’t have to extend your working hours.
There is so much pressure in the lives of men, especially those who already have a family of their own. The society expects the father to be a good provider for the members of the household. At the same time, many people also want them to act as role models for their children.
“Although both fathers and mothers can be sensitive and effective parents, some theorists argue that fathers serve a special role in their children’s development,” wrote Krystine I. Batcho, PhD. “Our relationships with our fathers are often more complex. Fathers urge children to take chances and overcome challenges with confidence in the protection and safety net that Dad provides. In early childhood play, Dads excite children to take reasonable risks within the security of a protective bond.”
However, there are days when things become complicated for them. The sad thing about this is that when it happens, some men find themselves in denial about the wrong things going on. They have this tendency to ignore the issues until the problems start to grow big.
We sometimes understand that it is a cliché to follow specific traditional rules that our parents taught us. But thinking about the life lessons it has to offer, it sometimes makes sense to tag along without complaints. Maybe that’s because it’s the experience that matters and parents have an on-hand encounter with the situation.
The Downside Of Working Too Much
The role of a father is to provide for the family, and it is understandable that you would only want what’s suitable for your family. However, too much pressure and excessive aiming for the things you wish to have can be dangerous for you. It will eventually affect your relationship with the people around you, and it will ultimately eat you up when you least expect it.
“Stress happens. All families experience varying degrees of stress at different times and for different reasons,” said Katie Hurley, LCSW. “That said, it’s important to be aware of triggers of parental stress to address these and better cope, before it trickles down to the kids.”
The family is important that’s why we do our best and make sure that they are safe and secure. So being a father, you should be able to provide for your family because it is your essential duty. Plan preparation should be your priority since most of the family members will rely on what you can offer them. Though your responsibility doesn’t stop there, you will have to put a whole aspect of importance on your financial stability.
Fatherhood can be very daunting especially if you are a first-timer. You will face trials and experience changes you never encountered before. These hardships will make you question the things you are doing. They might even make you regret having a child in the first place. But here’s the thing – it’s utterly normal for you to find this new chapter difficult. And do you know why? It’s because no one can be an immediate expert when it comes to being a Dad. Luckily though, we can all learn how.
Fathers, just like mothers, experience a lot of changes in their lives after having a child. “Fatherhood offers many men a second chance at revisiting important unmet needs from earlier in development while also providing the opportunity to grow new parts of their identities,” wrote Chuck Schaeffer, PhD.
That said, parents should work together to raise their child. “Initiatives such as parental leave for men and parenting classes that emphasize the role of fathers could help to maximize children’s development from early childhood to preadolescence,” said Lisa Serbin, PhD.
Are Dads cooler than Moms? Well, that’s the long-standing question that curious minds everywhere have been debating over for years. Even in other family websites, this topic has always been a favorite by the readers. We all love our parents equally, let’s get that right. It’s just that sometimes we can’t help but love one of them more. Does that make us a bad son or daughter? Is it a competition? No is the answer to both of them. Oh come on, don’t tell us you haven’t felt that way at least once in your life. Both parents have their issues, you know. It’s just that we think Dads are naturally cooler than moms. Are you not convinced? Let us help you with that.
Being a ‘father’ does not necessarily mean you have to be connected by blood. Your desire to give the child a better life is always the main priority even if you are not biologically related, As a man, you will need the guts to accept things without any complaints.
“As a therapist, I often see children and teens struggle with new family members, or with respecting the boundaries and rules of a stepparent. For adults, the main challenges are how to blend parenting skills, become a stronger parental system, create rules everyone can follow, and learn the boundaries of everyone involved,” wrote Tamara Hill, MS, LPC.