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Caring For My Child’s Mental Health – Rules When Dating My Teenage Daughter

As a father, it is typically very overwhelming when you have a teenage daughter. It appears like there are so many things that you have to give and sacrifice at the same time. Taking care of her is not a joke since there are restrictions that I need to consider to keep her safe. Most times, it feels like fatherhood needs to be executed correctly. Because if I don’t manage to keep up with the considerations, I might entirely lose control. That could become a father’s worst nightmare since it can cause relationship issues between my daughter and me. So as much as possible, I need the best and appropriate rules that can guarantee her safety and happiness at the same time. Besides, her overall physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental states are the most important aspects that I know I have to focus on. Thus, here are some of the basic rules when dating my teenage daughter.

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Take Things In Perspective (I need To Know If I Can Trust You) – Understandably, I know that teenagers can’t get a little out of control. That is why it is significant that I manage to set a boundary of what is appropriate and what is not. However, I understand that I might always fail to imply that rule because I won’t be with my daughter most of the time. Thus, when you plan on dating her, you have to promise me to take things in perspective. Realize that she is everything to me, so I will require you to take care of her on my behalf. I would expect you to be responsible at all costs and ensure that everything is okay with her physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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Avoid Upsetting Words And Actions (I Know When She Is Hurt) – I am a father who will always be vulnerable when it comes to my child. So anything that concerns her becomes my problem as well. I know when she is hurt because I raised her and prepared her for the reality of the world. Unfortunately, I can’t control the harshness of things around her. But I can promise to be there for her when she needs me. So when dating my teenage daughter, I require you to avoid upsetting her at all costs. If in case you already did, do yourself a favor and try to make things better with her. Never let her return home upset because that particular thing also disappoints me. I was hoping you could do your best to make things right before she even reached home and reached me.

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Curfew Matters A Lot (I Expect You To Return Her Home On Time) – Teenage dating is still dating. Regardless of what activities you would like to do together with my daughter, it is fine as long as it is wholesome. As a father, I have a lot of dirty thoughts in my mind, so I would like you to excuse me for that. The thing that I will not apologize for is when I get mad and disappointed when you ignore my curfew hours. You see, I set up those time boundaries without considering exceptions. Thus, no excuse is valid. I understand the possibility of unexpected situations, though. But still, I won’t consider any of it, and it would lead to a minus point. I want my teenage daughter to acknowledge that her overall being is more important than anything else.

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Understand The Word “RESPECT” (I Will Be Watching You) – When dating my teenage daughter, I can allow you to spend time with her and talk about any stuff you would like. Sadly, I will never know what both of you are up to. I fully understand that I have to limit myself and follow a restricted boundary because my daughter is no longer a baby. But note that allowing you to be alone with her does not mean I am giving you the permission to level things up between you two. Therefore, please do not assume that when I allow you to be with her, you can get distorted and went in a hurry. Mind you, a father always knows.

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A Father’s Note

As a father, I have the right to set boundaries, especially for my child’s overall wellness. I know at some point, I can be overreacting, but I am not perfect. As for my teenage daughter’s dating attempt, I know I can be mean at times. But that doesn’t mean I want her to isolate herself just because she needs to follow my rules. It is just that I want her to feel safe and comfortable with someone. I respect her boundaries, and I support her every decision. But I do what I do because I am a father who doesn’t want her daughter to get hurt.



How To Build A Healthy Family Relationship

There is indeed no perfect family. And even if you try harder, you will never achieve the best of everything from your family members. There are always these imperfections that all of you will have to deal with. But despite that, those things are what make the whole family experience memorable. Everything you do, every sacrifice you make, and every decision you consider, are all going to be worth it, especially if it’s for the sake of your loved ones. With that, let us understand how we can build a healthy family relationship.

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Show Respect – There is a saying that “respect must be earned and shouldn’t be imposed.” That is quite true. And when it comes to a family relationship, it also applies. There are instances that a member of your family can get a little out of hand. But that doesn’t mean you need to lose respect. As much as possible, you have to regard someone else’s feelings no matter what. Respect and accept other people for who they are. Respect them even if you have a lot of differences.

Be Honest – Honesty is the most vital part of every relationship. It will allow you to be genuine to yourself as it promotes openness and authenticity. It is one of the best qualities you should be practicing because it leads to trust and faith. It also reflects your integrity and will make you more compassionate about others. Also, honesty guarantees you a fresh and positive outlook in life as it makes sure that you always do and consider the right thing.

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Laugh Together – Building a healthy family relationship should start with the basic needs of everyone. With that, you need to spend more time together as a family. You need to enjoy every moment with each other and build unforgettable memories. You need to enjoy life and laugh a lot. Laughter is a vital element of a happy and healthy family relationship. Therefore, you can agree that it is one of the best characteristics that marks growth and development in the family.

Trust And Don’t Judge – Trust is a tender aspect of all family relationships, yet it is also the most vulnerable. With that, you and your family must build trust with each other so you won’t have to deal with other people’s judgments. All of you can rely on and feel safe. Thus, you can guarantee not to experience a shaky and failing family relationship.

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Compromise – Compromising is not something you should grant to your family because you think it is your duty. It should be something to give them because you want to help them learn and grow. Compromising has a lot to do with consistency and accountability. It also fosters trust and security in any relationship. When you compromise, you not only consider your family’s weaknesses and strengths but also set up your common goal, which is to become the best version of yourself.

Accept And Appreciate – You need to learn to value each others’ capabilities and never dream about perfection. As mentioned earlier, there is no such thing as a perfect family. Therefore, it is stupid to aim for that. Accept that there are flaws you will have to deal with every day. Once you get a hold of that, it will become easier to appreciate the good things about each member of your family. You will gain the ability to look at your family as unique individuals.

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Forgive And Forget – You always experience a lot of difficulties in family relationships but it helps when you forgive and forget. It does not only work for the sake of the other person, but it also contributes a lot to your mental and emotional well-being. Forgiveness throws in a better and meaningful life. So when you forgive someone who intentionally or unintentionally hurt you, you are more likely to enjoy a long and satisfying relationship.

Always Compliment – One of the greatest things that you can do to build a healthy family relationship is always to compliment the good sides of your family members. When you often express the greatness of their qualities, it will make them feel better about themselves. However, remember that you have to be truthful with what you say. Your compliments should allow self-growth, promote self-confidence, and improve self-appreciation. So next time you want to say something nice to a family member, go for it.

Give More Than You Take – Having a healthy and meaningful family relationship requires a lot of effort. You must understand your role in each one of your loved ones. If you find yourself capable of giving more, do not hesitate to show your family how much they mean to you. Do not count the number of things you give them and expect them to return it as much.

 



COVID-19: Should I Shift My Child To Homeschooling?

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Until an effective vaccine for the coronavirus is available, it is not safe for all of us, especially the children, to be near one another. The unavailability of a cure or solution is why the entire world has imposed different quarantine guidelines in their countries to contain and prevent the spread of the virus.

Aside from offices, one of the most affected by quarantine guidelines is the education system. Since mass gatherings or congregations are highly discouraged, if not prohibited, schools are forced to find ways on how to conduct their classes.

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Countries such as France and Korea have eased their quarantine guidelines and re-opened their schools. Unfortunately, in just a week, 70 new cases were reported in France, and these were all linked to students returning to the classroom set-up. Reports say that parents were relieved upon the re-opening of classes since adjusting to homeschooling was exhausting, mainly because they were also working from home.

Some institutions are also considering shifting to online classes. This arrangement would entail using video conferencing programs where students and teachers may conduct classes through electronic devices. Online courses would highly depend on the availability of devices as well as a reliable internet connection. In home-based schooling, parents may still need to supervise their children as they attend classes through video calls as well as reinforce their lessons.

What is the best choice for our children? How can we lessen the impact of the pandemic in their education? How can I help my children adjust to the new normal? These are just some questions that I ask myself. Of course, I want my children to get the best education there is. But is it possible in a time of pandemic?

Parents who have long practiced homeschooling have fully adjusted to this set-up. Fortunately for them, they do not have the same dilemma as the majority of us do. The ultimate question is, should I shift my child to homeschooling during the pandemic?

Here are some critical questions I asked myself as I consider making the shift:

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Am I Capable?

Homeschooling can be taxing to parents. Thus, it requires dedication and the desire to succeed. Parents would have to be responsible for implementing a structure with their child and choose appropriate materials. There is also a question of whether I could teach my children complex ideas in a simple manner.  

Do I Have The Time?

Homeschooling does not end with teaching your children. As instructors, we should also understand the lessons, so we should also have the time to review them. We also have to consider our children’s age group. The younger ones would require more attention. As children grow older, they become more independent and would require less supervision. You also have to take into consideration your job, chores, and other responsibilities at home.

Do I Have Enough Resources?

Modules are a big part of homeschooling. These are provided by institutions that offer homeschooling as part of their program. However, your child’s learning should not stop there. Depending on the learning curve and progress, you can design your child’s schedule and consider hiring coaches, enrolling in workshops, and other learning activities. You have to make sure that your child develops not only in academics but also in sports and socialization.

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Now that we are all stuck at home, and the risk of infection is very high, we should make use of our time well. The world may have slowed down because of the virus, but learning should always be continuous. Education is not limited to academics. We can also take this opportunity to teach our children life skills that will become useful later in their lives. These skills are essential to know no matter what structure of education we choose for them.

According to Dr. Ryan Harvey, M.D., “It’s important to be flexible and adaptive when creating your homeschooling routine, and letting your kids be involved in this planning process will ensure they are engaged and willing to learn throughout the day. A routine is important, though, so consider starting your day as you would a regular school day – by getting dressed and sitting down for breakfast.”

Homeschooling has enough room for flexibility. Your child’s education can adjust to your family’s lifestyle. However, I believe that it is not for everyone. Even in times like the pandemic, we should still consider what is compatible with our lifestyle and our children’s learning style. No homeschooling is the same. We have to support whatever method children are comfortable with. We have to listen to their needs rather than imposing what we like on our children.



A Parent’s Love

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The 2019 Parental Event is what a hottie single daddy like me needs. I just turned forty, and a few years back, my partner Ethan and I went to my hometown in the Philippines and stayed there for a bit. Our laundrywoman got pregnant, and to make it short, she gave up the baby. She even told me to take care of her. I had this chubby and brown, with so much hair, little baby girl in my arms, and I could not resist. It was love at first sight for me with Allyna and I have been her mommy, er, daddy ever since.

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How Fathers Can Support Their Children During The COVID-19 Pandemic

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Fatherhood is challenging, but this is getting tested more in the COVID-19 global pandemic. With the uncertainties piling up more and more these trying times, a lot of stressors emerge. These include worries on how to generate income, where to buy groceries, how to maximize a work from home setup, and more. However, the greatest challenge is on how to support your children amid COVID-19.

This situation might be a little difficult for fathers, but psychologists revealed various strategies on how to go about this. Here are some of them:

Stick To A Routine

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Whether you’re the type of father who goes to work early morning or is a stay-at-home dad, then make sure to stick with your routine. If you wake up at six in the morning and eat breakfast at eight, continue doing that. What’s the reason behind this?

According to experts, a child needs a structure. Therefore, even if things are not on their usual course right, you, as a father, should ensure that their worlds don’t lead to a full stop. If you think that it’s impossible and unhealthy to stick with your ‘normal’ routine, then create a new one. You can put up a schedule for the day for every family member, but make sure that everything is balanced.

You should include a timeslot where your kids are not allowed to play with any technological device. Set aside time as well in connecting with their friends. You may be able to achieve this with them talking to one another using mobile phones or any other video call platform. These practices are vital so that they won’t fully detach themselves from reality.

Set An ‘Us’ Time

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During difficult times like these, children need extra love and attention. They need reassurance that there are people around them who will support them in trying times like this. As a father, it is your responsibility to listen to their worries, and speak kindly on how they can address this. Do not be too negative about the situation. These are kids who are not yet ready to face the cruels of the world, so make sure that you don’t establish an environment like that.

Your ‘Us’ time can also be a space for you to tackle the nitty-gritty of coronavirus. It does not mean that you should dwell on the negatives; instead, focus on answering questions geared on your kid’s age level. Do not mention technical terms connected to the sickness. Focus more on explaining the concept using layman’s terms. It will give your kid a chance to learn more about the current event and correct whatever wrong information he or she has acquired.

Create Positive Distractions

Processing emotions as a child is a little complicated and challenging. They are a bit sensitive; therefore, it is your role as a father to handle it properly. Imposing positive distractions, such as dinner nights, board game nights, movie nights, cooking meals together, and more, will allow kids to relieve from the stress they are feeling.

Make sure not to rely too much on gadgets as positive distractions. Too much time on the internet will only lead to more confusion and anxiety to your kids, especially when they keep on reading and seeing negative news regarding the pandemic. 

Manage Your Own Emotions

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“Parents, of course, are anxious too and our kids will take emotional cues from us,” shares Dr. Lisa Damour, Ph.D., an expert adolescent psychologist, New York Times columnist, and best-selling author. “I would ask parents to do what they can to manage their anxiety in their own time and to not overshare their fears with their children. That may mean containing emotions, which may be hard at times, especially if they’re feeling those emotions pretty intensely.”

Whenever your kids see that you are getting anxious and scared, they’ll also share the same feeling. Your feelings of trouble will carry over to their emotions. As a dad, it is your responsibility to be reliable, not only for your kids but for your whole family as well.

Admit or not, we are in uncharted territory. Keeping life going during the pandemic might be a little challenging for everyone. Keep in mind, however, that a father should be a pillar in these trying times. Once you accomplish this, everything will follow.



Daddy Rules On Dating

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The 2017 Parenting Meeting provided so many answers for me when it came to my daughters. I am a single father and not by choice. My lovely wife, Patricia, has gone to heaven too early, and she left me to tend to our two beautiful girls. She has been gone for almost five years now, but I have never re-married. No plans to do it also.

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5 Things That Make Millennial Dads Oh-So Awesome! 

Millennials have been characterized in numerous ways. On the more positive side, they are regarded as more open-minded and supportive of equality concepts. They are receptive to change, new ideas, and innovation. They are also very expressive of their emotions. The less favorable things which characterize millennials include being narcissistic or self-centered. 

 

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5 Things A Father Wants From His Spouse 

In the eyes of a child, his father is Superman, Batman, and Captain America rolled into one. A father is every child’s first superhero. He can do all things like providing for his family and leading the family lovingly while being doing his best at work. However, behind every Superman is a support system, helping him in every way possible. The support system that provides for every husband’s needs is his spouse.  

 

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Is It Time To Plan For A Family?

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There are several issues that parties to a marriage must talk about so that they will eventually avoid drifting apart from each other. The marital union requires constant and honest communication from both the husband and wife to make it work. “A couple can prepare for parenthood by discussing how they currently support one another and how they deal with conflict and miscommunication,”explains Kristi Angevine, M.D. One of the sensitive topics that you may need to discuss with the other spouse is the plan of starting a family of your own. Keep in mind that this decision must be mutually made between you and your wife.

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Saving The Marriage: Be A Good Father

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Staying in a relationship is always a choice. No matter how much you love each other in a marriage, there will always come a time wherein the irreconcilable differences will bring you apart. There will be more hard days where you will feel less love for the other person or vice versa. All these problems and troubles are part of the marriage. As such, you need to find the courage to fight for the relationship and to say no to divorce.

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