Staying in a relationship is always a choice. No matter how much you love each other in a marriage, there will always come a time wherein the irreconcilable differences will bring you apart. There will be more hard days where you will feel less love for the other person or vice versa. All these problems and troubles are part of the marriage. As such, you need to find the courage to fight for the relationship and to say no to divorce.
However, divorce is also a mutual decision between a husband and wife. This is also the situation when it comes to saving a marriage. If your spouse is the one who wants to go on separate ways, then you must look for efficient methods on how to prevent her from leaving. Be sure to show her why she fell in love with you in the first place. Remind her of the happy moments that you have shared together. One of the things that you can do is to show her that you can be a good father to your kids by doing these:
Know When To Talk And Listen
Building a good relationship with the children is not going to be easy, especially if you do not know how to communicate with them. “We would all like to teach our kids to respect other people. The best way to do this is by modeling respectful and caring behavior in our own interactions. This helps the kid learn the value of respect and empathy and teaches them the skills of effective communication,” suggests Melanie Greenberg, PhD.
Make an effort to help your kids open up to you whenever they have problems at school or concerns with their personal lives. Give them time to talk about these things and avoid interrupting them while they do it. Doing all these things will make your wife realize that you know how to sympathize with your beloved children.
Avoid Giving Too Much Pressure
Every parent wants the best thing for his or her children. No one wants to raise children who will not become successful in their chosen careers or lives. “That could include pushing them while they’re in school to study harder, to do better academically. And we push them to try new things that we think will enrich their lives and make them feel good,” explains Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and the founding president of the Child Mind Institute.
As such, it is only normal if you want your children to have significant accomplishments in the future. Nonetheless, this does not indicate that you can add unnecessary pressure to what they are doing. Let them find the things that they are passionate about and give them your support all the way. Avoid discouraging your children to reach their full potential. Your wife will surely appreciate you for this.
Spend Time With Them
Try to take a break from all the things that have been keeping you busy in the past few weeks or months. One of the reasons why a marriage fails is because of the lack of time that the spouses spend with each other. Most family therapy experts suggest that you do not make this mistake by spending most of your time with the entire family. Show your wife that you value every member of the household by doing exciting things with your kids. “A father who gives of himself implicitly communicates his love and respect for his child,” says Aaron Hass, PhD.
For example, you can accompany your son on a camping trip or bring your daughter to a dinner date. When your wife sees you having a great time with the kids, she will inevitably reminisce about how great you are as a father and husband.
Experiencing some problems and issues in a marriage union is only normal. What matters most is how you handle this with grace and wit.