Loving Without Boundaries: A Stepfather’s Story

Source: newscientist.com


Being a ‘father’ does not necessarily mean you have to be connected by blood.  Your desire to give the child a better life is always the main priority even if you are not biologically related, As a man, you will need the guts to accept things without any complaints.

“As a therapist, I often see children and teens struggle with new family members, or with respecting the boundaries and rules of a stepparent. For adults, the main challenges are how to blend parenting skills, become a stronger parental system, create rules everyone can follow, and learn the boundaries of everyone involved,” wrote Tamara Hill, MS, LPC.

The Beautiful Women of My Life

I met Susan whom I promised to share my life with. She’s the most amazing human being I have ever met, and I vowed to give her all the love in the world. I have promised myself that I will become the person that will never hurt her and will spend my life loving her and caring for her. She has become the most beautiful gift I never thought I could have that is why I thanked God for it.

My Fate With The Little Girl

Susan had a daughter, and her name is Anne. She’s sweet, loving, and a cute little girl who needs a lot of affection. From the moment I saw her, I knew then that she was my daughter. She became my inspiration for everything I do, and she had given me lots of hope in facing difficulties in my life. She’s the daughter I would want to have. She’s innocent and fragile that I would never want anything or anyone takes advantage at any cost. I will protect and love her with all my heart, and no one’s going to change that.

Source: billmuehlenberg.com


People Will Never Understand

It may not be typical to secure a future with my wife along with her kid, and even if people condemned me about my decision, I remained firm with what I want, and it will never change a thing. People may judge me for choosing an unnatural conclusion of keeping my daughter (her daughter), but I will never exchange anything for what I have right now. The decisions I took will not define me as a person, and no one can judge me for what I did. I will never regret any single moment that I fell in love with my wife and her kid.

The Value of Acceptance

Love doesn’t put impressions of wrongdoings because it delivers a great fulfillment of what you can offer to other people and vice versa. I know I chose the right decision when I asked my wife to marry me and asked her to let me become the father of her child. I don’t need to explain everyone why I decided to accept them because I know from the start that they are my family.

According to Jennifer Powell-Lunder, PsyD, “The role of a stepparent is often not easy or, for that matter fair. Spouses who thoroughly discuss parenting roles and expectations stand a much better chance of ensuring that a commitment to each other extends to the children. After all, no stepparent or child wants to feel like they are engaged in a battle or caught in crossfire.”

I believe that being a father is always a choice (read a similarly inspiring story here: www.babble.com). Your decision making and responsibilities matter a lot, and it will put you in a situation where you can decide on what you will have to do with your life. As for me, I don’t care if I am not biologically related with my little girl for as long as I know that she loves me and that’s the only thing that matters.

Robert Taibbi, LCSW, reminds other families in a similar situation, “[R]emember creating your family is less a project more a process, one that requires clarity, commitment and sensitivity. Learn from your mistakes, pat yourselves on the back often, keep a sense of humor. With patience and perseverance you are both bound to succeed.”