There are several issues that parties to a marriage must talk about so that they will eventually avoid drifting apart from each other. The marital union requires constant and honest communication from both the husband and wife to make it work. “A couple can prepare for parenthood by discussing how they currently support one another and how they deal with conflict and miscommunication,”explains Kristi Angevine, M.D. One of the sensitive topics that you may need to discuss with the other spouse is the plan of starting a family of your own. Keep in mind that this decision must be mutually made between you and your wife.
Below are some of the factors that you must take into consideration before you decide whether it is the right time to have a new baby in a marriage. Be sure to discuss these things with your partner:
Financial Matters
Keep in mind that it is expensive to start a new family. You need to have the right amount of money to pay for all the expenses before, after and during the pregnancy. First of all, think of the cash to pay the doctor for every prenatal checkup. Second, remember that you still need to pay the amount charged during labor. This fee is not yet fixed because the hospital bills will vary depending on the attending circumstances during the time of giving birth.
Your Career
Since there will be tons of expenses to pay for, the next thing that you have to do is to assess your career. Do you think that the company you work for is going to stay in business for the next fifty years? Do you see yourself working for this firm until retirement? “Couples need to decide together what the plan will be — if someone will quit working or if they’ll seek child care outside the home,” says Lisa Mazzullo, MD. Remember that having a stable and good-paying career is essential so that you could earn sufficient cash to pay for all the upcoming expenses and fees.
Desire
Listen to what your heart wants. Are you ready to have a new baby? Do you think that you have what it takes to become a father? If you continuously think about holding a baby in your arms or putting him down to sleep, then there is a good chance that it is truly what you want to happen. However, this is not a guarantee that you are already ready to have one. Because of this, it is still highly recommended for you to take some tests or to talk to professionals to see to it if you are mentally prepared for the journey as a father, together with your wife. “The best age to become parents should be autonomously decided by a couple, under the condition of being a free informed choice and not a social imposition, but currently this is not guaranteed to western women and men.” Carlo Bellieni, M.D. says.
As already mentioned above, the decision to become pregnant is a decision you must make together with your wife. Do not insist on what you want to your partner, especially when you are not the one who is going to carry the child in the womb. Make an effort to listen to what she has to say. In case your wife tells you that it is not yet the perfect time, the right thing to do is to accept it and move forward. Wait for the perfect moment. Sometimes, when you least expect it, a beautiful message or surprise will come at your doorstep.