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Parenting

Three Reasons Why Dads Are Important

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It’s easy for most guys to become someone’s baby daddy. However, it’s hard to become an actual father to a child.  We know that it’s a no-brainer that both parents are vital in making sure that a child will grow up correctly, most of the credits usually go to the mother.   And that is wrong because fathers also play a fundamental role in the family and more in a child’s overall development. Sure, not all dads are good enough to be given recognition but how about those who work hard every day just to give their families the kind of life they deserve?

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A Single Father’s Parenting Struggle: “Am I Not Enough?”

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There are a lot of things I wanted to ask my children, but I am too afraid to do so. There have been some questions that needed answers, and I needed to get it straight from them, but then I couldn’t. Being a father is a tough job because you always have to show your kids that things are okay even if it’s not. You can’t reveal them your weakness or all else will fall apart.

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Best Father And Son Bonding Activities

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Do you sometimes feel that you’re too busy working and you realized you haven’t given enough time for your kid? It is undeniably true that a father’s duty demands a lot of time in the workplace compared to the amount of time he has to be at home. Though that’s the typical thing to happen, dads should take time to exert effort in providing specific activities with his kids. Here are some of the things he can do to maintain a father and kids bonding.

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Tips On How You Can Have A Better Relationship With Your Dad

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The relationship that we have with our dads can be quite complicated at times, especially if you’re a boy. Unlike what many people think, sons don’t always get along with their fathers. Do you know why? It’s because we don’t regularly share the same interests and opinions with them.  And this difference often causes communication problems which can further damage or strain the already rocky relationship.

“[T]he relationship between father and child can have a significant impact on the child’s tendencies toward depression and behavior problems,” says Rick Nauert, PhD.

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Things We Should Tell Our Dads More Often

Not all fathers are the same, that’s a given fact.  However, for those who are doing an excellent job at being a Dad, it is our duty as their children to thank them for it. Because without them we won’t be here, that’s why. No seriously, we need to give them more credit for the things they have done and are still doing for us. They won’t be here forever, that’s why we need to start showing them how much they mean to us.

 

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Reasons Why You Should Never Physically Punish Your Child

 

 

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Parents are always responsible for their kid’s actions, and as much as they want them to learn new things in life, there will invariably be a time when kids will eventually commit mistakes. As a father, I used to hit my child as a way of informing him that what he did was wrong and it was punishable. As a parent, I thought I should be in control of every situation. I administered physical abuse following my anger. It became a routine that spanking was a necessity for my disciplinary practice. Little did I know that it was the worst part of my parenting method because it created a lasting harmful effect on my child’s overall development.

“Physical punishment elicits precisely the negative affects one does not want in parent-child relationships and in socializing children: distress, anger, fear, shame, and disgust.” Paul C Holinger M.D. explains.

Justifying The Act

Spanking (or also known as corporal punishment) enables a child’s brain to react alarmingly so they can respond to the process accordingly. In other words, when you hit a child, part of his brain (prefrontal cortex) shuts down the center of their reasoning and judgment and only reacts to ridiculous fear. “According to attachment theory, important parts of the child’s brain are highly activated under conditions of threat (e.g., separation, physical assault). Spanking is a condition of threat.” Gail Goodman, Ph.D. says. It seems to work in some cases and scenarios because children then understand the concept of right and wrong. It gives us parents the ability to impose unbreakable rules that teach children to follow consequently.

 

The Result In Children At Early Stage

Physical punishment on a child can inflict more serious harm that parents often ignore. The kid becomes more aggressive and withdrawn, and that initially endangers his mental and psychological health. It affects the child’s emotional entitlement and loses his self-worth. He becomes distant and secretive and sometimes eventually ends up with lying just to get away with the punishment. A child grows more insensitive and finds it hard to trust people around him. He may use his traumatic experience to devalue his worth.

 

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The Result In The Adolescent Stage

Spanking is considered physical abuse and the more we continue to practice it, the more it promotes anger on our child. He may end up realizing that physical violence is normal and is not something to address. He will likely use it as a mode of interaction with his peers and validate the action for a personal reason. The child will eventually show severe psychological drawbacks from spanking where they’ll turn out to become egocentric and antisocial.

 

The Adulthood Aftermath

When a child experienced physical abuse at an early stage and continued to receive punishment in the adolescent years, he will (most likely) develop violent behaviors until his adulthood. He will become short-tempered. He will have a mindset that physical abuse is normal and use it to attain dominance in the house. He will have problems dealing with anger management that can eventually result in domestic violence. According to Jessica Kendorski, Ph.D., “Brain science is showing us that warmth and nurture are essential to brain development.”

 

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As I observed, my kid grew up and became the person I didn’t expect him to become. I blamed myself for every physical abuse I made in the past. It was not worth it. It didn’t help me in any way. I thought I was currently doing the right thing but the violence I imprinted on his physical, emotional, and mental health was beyond a parental sin. Spanking doesn’t work in promoting good behavior. Instead, it creates another generation of abusive parents that damage their child’s well-being.

 



Growing Up Without A Father: The Passive Outcome

A father is one of the significant factors that make a home complete. Without him, the whole aspect of a child’s healthy development can encounter complications. The importance of their role is inevitable because they are a contributor to a child’s overall well-being. It is the father’s responsibility to be there for his kid and support his psychological functions. Without him, a fatherless child will intensely suffer in both emotional and mental states.

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Significance Of A Father’s Influence

While almost anyone can make a baby and create a life, not everyone can take the role of a father and stick around in a child’s life. Just like mothers, fathers’ roles are vital in the development of a child’s emotional and mental well-being.

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According to Dr. David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project, fathers are far more than just “second adults” in the home. Biological fathers who are more involved with their children provide care and benefits that no other person can offer. They are the ones who extend protection and act as an ideal male role model for their children.

Influence Of A Father To A Child’s Development

  1. Cognitive Development

Fathers who are more hands-on to their children’s academic and learning process administer a sense of well-being and self-confidence. For example, children with fathers who have a better educational background tend to do better in school. Communication between a father and a child also results in a more expansive vocabulary and more complex language skills.

Fathers are also more likely to challenge their children to try new things. When faced with this, children tend to believe in their capabilities to tackle difficult situations. “We found that fathers who are involved with their children have children with fewer problems,” says Maureen Black, PhD.

  1. Emotional And Social Development
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How a father treats their children influence their social and emotional development. Children might adopt the way their father talks to them and treats them. “Our first attachment patterns shape our expectations for future attachments.” explains Jennifer Kromberg PsyD. “So a woman’s early relationship with dad, who is usually the first male object of her love, shapes her conscious and unconscious perceptions of what she can expect and what is acceptable in a romantic partner (for heterosexual women).” Fathers who engage with their child’s hobbies and interests results in a socially competent personality. At the same time, these children are most likely to have a better ability to build friendships and control their emotions.

Children with involved fathers can improve how they tolerate stress and frustration, are better at problem-solving and have better control over their impulses. According to Ditta M. Oliker Ph.D. “The influence of a father’s involvement extends into adolescence and young adulthood.”

  1. Mother–Father Relationship
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A father’s influence does not stop with how they treat their children. How a husband treats his wife dramatically affects his relationship with his children too. When both are in a peaceful, healthy marriage, fathers are probably more involved in childcare responsibilities and have better relationships with their kids. Men who are committed to their marriages are usually committed to everything that goes with it, especially children.

Ways In Which Fathers Can Show Their Influence

  • Communication
  • Education
  • Observation
  • Engaging in thought processes
  • Ability to provide
  • Affection
  • Protection
  • Emotional support
  • Love language
  • Engaging in their child’s activities/hobbies
  • Simply being available

Not all fathers can commit to the level of involvement they’d like to have. Despite life circumstances, challenging situations, or other factors, fathers can still provide a positive and nurturing influence in their children’s lives with proper support and understanding.

Both fathers and mothers have different styles of parenting. It makes the role of the fathers as crucial as that of the mothers because they can provide a feeling of security, both physically and emotionally.

In a more general sense, fathers need to understand that their kids are always watching them and whatever action they take matters. Being a good father is not only about being present but also genuinely caring for his children and inculcating good behavior in them.



A Father’s Importance To Her Daughter

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There’s an incomprehensible responsibility when we talk about father and daughter relationship. It is more of a commitment to what benefits one person rather than the other. It has something to do with the unconditional love and care that corresponds with fear and worries. It sets inseparable boundaries to a specific father-daughter relationship.

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Why Online Safety Is Important For Your Kids

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The age of social media has made a lot of positive changes in our society. It has resulted in more convenient connections, better entertainment source, and a new platform to express our thoughts. The Internet is a great place to talk to friends, play games, or even learn.

On the flip side, several risks come with being active on the Internet. Nowadays, online predators or cyberbullies are lurking behind every social media site. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to spot them.  To make it worse, they target those who are vulnerable enough to lure—our kids.

As dads, we can help our kids stay safe. We can do this by introducing them to proper Internet use and online dangers so that they can start using it wisely, even at a young age.

Online safety came alongside the rise of social media. Some people throw around the term loosely, but what this means is freely allowing our kids to use the Internet while keeping them safe from harm.

Parents must find the right balance between ensuring safety and letting kids explore the resources the Internet has. Keeping them safe can mean a lot of ways like adequately informing them of Internet risks while also highlighting its benefits. As dads, we face the responsibility of teaching them about both the real world and the online world. Below are some useful tips dads can use for online safety.

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Remind Them What They Can And Can’t Do

Don’t wait until something terrible happens to them. Before they even start using the Internet, set ground rules so that they know what to expect. Be careful not to make them feel like you are too strict; this might cause them to rebel more. To avoid this, ensure that you are clear about why you are setting each rule.

Only Let Them Add Connections They Know In Person

Teach them that social media is not a contest of friends and likes. Caution them against adding people they don’t know since it’s easy to impersonate anyone on social media. “Children today need to be instructed that strangers can be online as well. What’s really baffling and dangerous about online strangers is that the really good ones can pretend to be someone that the child knows.” Dr. Samuel McQuade, Ph.D. emphasizes.

Keep Personal Information Private

Kids tend to update everything on social media—from where they live and where they study to where they currently are. Let them know that it’s easy to track people based on their social media activities. Also, double-check if their profiles are secured and private. “A monitoring program can help you see where your kids are, especially if kids have friends that are questionable, and they’re entering chat rooms and on Facebook all the time.” Gwenn O’Keeffe, M.D. explains.

Ask Them To Add You To Their Connections

Kids might hate having their parents as their friends at first. Slowly coax them into the idea of trusting you enough to let you in on their online world. With this, it’s easier to ensure their safety by monitoring their activities. “Parents should be aware of what their kids see and hear on the Internet, who they meet, and what they share about themselves.” says Elana Pearl Ben-Joseph, M.D.

Let Them Confide In You

Should your kid feel the slightest discomfort on the Internet, they should go to you for help. Try not to shut them down by saying, “I told you so.” Instead, use the situation as a learning point about avoiding dangers on the Internet next time.

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Of course, all these won’t work if dads themselves don’t serve as a role model for their kids. Before anything else, learn as much as you can about the Internet too. Be extra mindful of your social media activities, especially if you have your kids included in your connection. Don’t give them a reason not to believe your own rules. So, for both dad and kids, use the Internet wisely!




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